The copy that I bought is in Very Good condition, which usually, I never notice anything different (besides it looks a tad lighter or something) but this comic’s cover has this black partial line going down the left side, like an inch from the spin. I can’t tell what it is from.
Inside front cover ad is for Round One of AvX.
This issue opens with Magma getting ready for her date with Mephisto. She has to go on a date with the Devil as he allowed the team to leave Hell during the Fear Itself tie-in arc. Dani really doesn’t want her to go on this date. Dani wants to call Hela, or Cyclops & Beast who can call Doctor Strange or Ghost Rider. The deal was that Magma had to go on one date, so she isn’t that worried.
Sunspot is talking to X-Man about his reasons why Magma shouldn’t go on the date. I sort of love this page, as it really puts Spider-Man’s willingness to make a deal with Mephisto. Mephisto is the Devil Incarnate. The Devil. The Metaphysical Embodiment of the Source of All Evil in the World.
X-Man knows what is up, Sunspot doesn’t like the idea of anyone dating Magma who isn’t him.
Legendary comic book creator, Joe Simon died around this time. 1913 – 2011. Thanks for Captain America!
Mephisto is at the door, he is dressed very well and is ready to treat her like a gentleman. Doug warns her to really pay attention to everything he says and what she says, to look for double meanings and such. Mephisto just wants to have a nice date. Mephisto arrived in a very fancy looking sports car. His other car is a phaeton made of adulterer’s hearts pulled by horses from the abattoir of all pestilence. This is the guy Spider-Man ran to to save his elderly aunt and sacrificed his marriage for.
Five minutes later. Mephisto has taken Magma to hell, the third circle of Hell, to be precise – which is Gluttony, it overlooks the Bay of Agony. DnL sure did their homework on Hell for this issue.
It dons on me now that Mephisto is dressed as a hipster, that makes sense.
Mephisto has arranged for Mounts Etna and Krakatoa to put on a show.
Krakatoa is the big name of the two, I had to look them both up. Krakatoa seems pretty intense and I need to watch one of those documentaries.
Mephisto asks the band to start playing, Magma recognizes the keyboardist (though he is playing a piano, so I don’t know) but I’m not sure who anyone is suppose to be. I couldn’t find any websites that took a guess.
Magma wants the date to be over as this isn’t a real date. Mephisto asks her to chill, which is pretty funny. Magma is doing far too much thinking on this date.
1128 Mission Street, San Francisco, California. Warlock is trying to get his Hel puppy to stay quiet, as the dog is there secretly. Warlock got the Hel-hound during Journey into Mystery 632, thanks Seabass! I miss editor notes.
Dani is trying to call Illyana, she is the master of Limbo so she should be able to watch out for Magma. Doug is trying to contact Doctor Strange.
Mephisto is trying to savage the date. Mephisto tries to tell her that he is a good guy. People come to him due to their own life decisions, he isn’t out there tempting people.
Magma tells him where he went wrong, he went too big. She wanted to be impressed not stunned into submission. She has an idea, she takes him to the restaurant where she tried to get a job at. Mephisto explains how he wants people to live as long as possible, so that they can keep making decisions in life. Heaven favors those who die young and accidentally or impulsively, they were living and not thinking.
The restaurant’s chipotle is way to hot for him, that’s pretty funny.
There is an ad for AvX with Daredevil fighting Archangel. Get it? Pretty clever
Mephisto walks Magma home, and treats her like a complete gentleman. She kisses him on the cheek and goes inside. The team greets her and are glad that she is okay, Dani wants all of the details come morning.
Issue ends with Mephisto throwing pebbles at Magma’s window. He wants to know if he can ask her out again, and she doesn’t know if he can, which is a pretty sweet moment.
Magik was an original member of the team, thus, I own most of them until she left. Doug joins later during Necrosha.
The storylines and tie-ins this title had were :
Return of Legion
Necrosha
Siege
Second Coming
Fall of the New Mutants
Rise of the New Mutants
Age of X
Unfinished Business
Fear Itself
Exiled
Fear the Future
Fight the Future
The creative team for the series have been :
1, 2, 3, 4 – Zeb Wells and Diogenes Neves
5 – Zeb Wells and Zachary Baldus6, 7, 8 – Zeb Wells and Diogenes Neves
9, 10 – Zeb Wells and Paul Davidson
11 – Kieron Gillen and Niko Henrichon
12, 13, 14 – Zeb Wells and Ibraim Roberson
15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 – Zeb Wells and Leonard Kirk
22, 23, 24 – Mike Carey and Steve Kurth
25, 26, 27 – Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning and Leandro Fernandez
28 -Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning and Michael Ryan
29, 30, 31, 32 – Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning and David Lafuente
33, 34, 35, 36, 37 – Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning and David Lopez
38, 39, 40 – Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning and Leandro Fernandez
41 – Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning and David Lopez
42, 43 – Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning with Kieron Gillen and Carmine Di Giandomenico
44, 45, 46 – Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning and Leandro Fernandez
47, 48, 49, 50 – Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning and Felix Ruiz with Klebs
Pretty cool how they kept getting artists back to the title, it really does add synergy.
I have 13 issues on my wishlist, most of them are Variant covers –
1 – Ross, Benjamin, McLeod, 2nd Printing
4 – 70th Anniversary Frame Variant
6 – Zombie Variant
10 – Deadpool Variant
13 – Heroic Age Variant
15 – Art Adams Variant17 – Regular Cover (I own the Variant) Magik is on the regular cover, so that’s why I still want it
24 – Regular Cover
25 – Art Adams Variant
37 – Regular Cover
So I really just want 24 and 37 as I’ve already read issue 17. But it would be nice to knock off some of these variants one day.
Artists Felix Ruiz (pages 1 – 6, 19 – 25) and Klebs (7 – 18)
Colorist Val Staples with Jesus Aburto
Letterer VC’s Joe Caramagna
Cover Dated December 2012
Cover Artist John Tyler Christopher
Final Issue!
The New Mutants, from the cast page, are – Dani, Sunspot, Magma, X-Man, Blink, Cypher and Warlock.
Issue opens with a page of Tyro, a fellow member of Warlock’s people – the Phalanx. Tyro is trying to fight off his father, who is co-habitating in his body. That is one of the aspects of that species, the son is meant to kill the father. Warlock didn’t to and it appears Tyro, also had difficulty. Everything I know about Tyro, comes from this issue.
San Francisco. Cannonball, Sunspot and X-Man are trying to grill outside. Sam doesn’t know how to light a grill, so he over does it and destroys it.
Magma shows up, rightly insulted that she wasn’t originally asked to help, and creates a mini volcano so the boys can grill. Good for her! Plus, I always enjoy seeing mutants using their powers in practical ways.
Karma, with both legs, and Dani are making a salad. Doug is still moping about.
Look at all the people who showed up!
Kitty is taking a picture that she isn’t included in, so she should turn around and take the picture properly. But then, we wouldn’t know that Kitty was in this issue.
What I like most about this issue is that it really is the combination of everything that came before.
Doctor Strange shows up.
Cannonball interrupts a conversation that Dani and Nate were having. I am not sure if those two were an official couple, I do know they flirted but that doesn’t mean anything.
The Disir, from the Exiled storyline, show up.
Doug speaks with team therapist, Mr.Grim.
Mephisto, in a more human form, but still red, shows up. He is still trying to pursue Magma. Sunspot gets jealous, like he do. Magma thinks he is sweet and kisses him on the lips. These two are always on and off, but never officially on.
Wolverine tells Dani that that the New Mutants have successfully accomplished Xavier’s dream of unity.
We are reminded of Cyclops’ goal for the New Mutants – to clean up the mess that the X-Men leave behind.
Then the action sequence of the issue begins, as Tyro has crashed into the backyard.
We are treated to a pretty impressive double splash page of all the heroes coming together to fight Tyro.
Doug saves the day by using his knowledge of the future to calm Tyro and deletes his father’s programming from his system.
Everybody goes back and enjoys the barbeque.
In a rare instance, the cover image actually happens in the issue. I like how it is the first image we see and the last.
Covers use to reflect the contents of the issue but nowadays, they work more as mini posters than as a preview of what is to come.
There is an ad for Avengers that sports Cannonball and Sunspot as members. That Sam, always earning his big league status. From what I have read, they are essentially the comedy relief.
Dani joins Fearless Defenders.
Karma joins Astonishing X-Men.
Warlock and Doug take a year off, before joining All New X-Factor.
Not sure what happens to Magma or to X-Man and Blink, for that matter.
Shame that Magik couldn’t make it to this final issue.
The last issue of the series I own, is issue 45 so something clearly happened between the two issues. I believe it was issue 46. I know this is the continuation of that last arc so things wrapped up and the New Mutants made it out safely.
in San Francisco, at a Ribstickers BBQ restaurant – which I’m not familiar with – the New Mutants are enjoying a meal after returning from the future where they fought TrueFriend, who was Doug at his most evil.
The New Mutants are – Dani, Sunspot, Magma, X-Man, Cypher, Warlock and Blink. Not the worst line up. That is from the credit page, Sunspot and Karma are also on the team. Not sure why they only went with seven faces when there is nine.
Apparently, Magma almost got a job at this restaurant. Though, why she would need a job and no one else, is beyond me. Doesn’t sound intriguing enough to warrant a Google search.
Also, when the waiter serves you your food, they have to say – Ribstickers hopes it all sticks to your ribs. I would hate that after my third visit there. Especially, as I’m sure, some of the wait staff would hate doing this, 70 times a day and won’t be able to hide it.
Cannonball appreciates that they all get to sit and share a meal together, they don’t get this opportunity too often. All it took was a megalomaniac ruler to do it. Dani tells Sam that he just ruined the mood as that ruler was Doug. Sam apologizes and Doug is clearly worried if that is what the future has in store for him.
Doug notices that something isn’t quite right but the team chalks it up to the time travel. Nate Gray, X-Man, who I don’t remember being this fun during his solo ongoing from the 90s, makes a great reference to his own situation. Time travel is weird, you can go back in time and only be ten years younger than your father and have a niece from a possible future timeline that may or may not never exist.
Blink makes a toast and they all cheer.
Jean Grey School. Doug is being looked over by Beast. Beast believes what Doug is feeling is a hangover. He is a light weight. Doug isn’t sure that is what it is but is glad that nothing is overly wrong with him. Beast gives Doug some pills for the hangover.
Kitty shows up and is glad that Doug is feeling better. Doug turns in shame. Kitty offers to them that they can stay at the school for as long as they want. Dani says that is a nice offer but they agreed to stick with Cyclops after the split. This confuses Kitty as Cyclops and Wolverine only had a little argument and the school was the compromise.
This all makes sense to Doug now, they are in an alternate timeline! The restaurant’s color scheme was wrong, Kitty’s X is on the wrong side (though it is a completely different costume, altogether) – he needs to figure out what else is different.
This is what Kitty Pryde looks like in the alternate timeline.
Greenwich Village. The New Mutants, minus Doug, are at Doctor Strange’s house. Who knew that when I made that order at Mile High Comics that I would have gotten three comics with Doctor Strange in them? I wonder how many other appearances of the good Doctor do I own now?
Doctor Strange is in not good shape. He’s gone a tad bit crazy as he first detected the change in the timeline but no one believed him. Others who also felt the change have gone insane or killed themselves.
When Blink teleports the team, it looks just like Magik’s stepping discs and it is this that makes me realize that this team always needs a teleporter.
Apparently, Doctor Strange and the Defenders helped the New Mutants out on a previous adventure but this isn’t the same timeline.
Jean Grey School. Kitty is checking on Doug, who hasn’t taken a break in a long time. This new timeline doesn’t make any sense. It has contradictions and paradoxes, the timeline was created and forced together.
Karma brings Face, one of the Inferno babies who is now all grown up from the last storyline Magik was in, maybe twenty issues ago, I guess he’s been traveling with the team this entire time.
Face sees Doug, and freaks out and blasts at him. Doug gets tackled to the ground, just missing the blast.
Once the dust clears, Kitty announces that Karma (still with both legs!) is dead!
Though I’m not sure how that could have happened and Face pushed her behind him before the blast but oh noes!
Don’t worry, Karma gets better as she is a later member of the final Astonishing X-Men cast. That’s all I know.
The next issue I own is issue 50, the series finale so we will have to try to figure out how this story concludes with who is left standing at the beginning of that issue. I have plans to review issue 50 relatively soon.
By this point, I had stopped buying New Mutants as Magik had graduated to the big league and was a member of Cyclops’ Extinction Team. I had heard this was a great crossover, with it winning the Best Crossover Award over at the Comic Book Resources X-Books forum.
This was at the time when the Asgardians were living in Broxton, Oklahoma. I’m not sure why they are there, I vaguely remember it was due to that being where they were reborn after Ragnarok. My only interaction with it was during the Siege crossover as that is where the bulk of the story takes place.
The cast of characters are :
Journey into Mystery – Loki / Thor / Hela / Tyr / Leah / Fandral / Volstagg / Hogun
New Mutants – Warlock / Sunspot / Magma / Cypher / Dani / X-Man
The recap page is done by a young boy who is doing it as if it was a board game, which makes sense in the middle of the comic when we see him again. This is the only part of the crossover that I own (or will own) so any unanswered questions are just going to have to be that. Though it does a decent job of exposing the world.
This issue opens with the New Mutants, in San Francisco, and some people have disappeared, as Dani says. Doug corrects her, a running theme of the issue, that when gods disappear – they are banished. oh Doug, learn to read a room!
Dani wants to call the Broxton police as they will know who to contact in the Asgardian community to let them know that Aesir and Disir are either dead or banished.
Dani’s next step, and the reason why I bought this, is to go to Utopia and get Magik. Magik can trace the energy signature and be able to send the team after the trail. Sunspot pipes up stating that she is their resident magical guru.
Just then, they are home again and eating Doug’s muffins. They are acting as if that’s what they have been doing this entire time. Actually, the muffins are from next door but Doug is going to use his power as food is a language and he can get the receipe via eating it. I’m not sure if that is how his power can actually do, I know it is in a comic and he said it but from what I’ve read Abnett & Lanning, collectively known as DnA (their first names – though I do wonder if Lanning ever doesn’t care for it as it is essentially just Abnett’s initials), they really pushed Doug’s power to some high limits.
Dani also questions if that is how his powers works, which may be a meta message as Gillen might be questioning his partner writers in Doug’s powers.
X-Man walks into the room and slaps the muffin out of Dani’s hands (he’s a jerk!) and he explains how today is Saturday and the last thing everyone should remember is that it was only Friday night mere seconds ago. Doug pipes up that he can also see that time has been rewritten.
Dani starts speaking aloud, about how Sigurd had unrolled a piece of paper. To which Doug corrects her that it is called, a scroll. Oh Doug, if you ever had a chance with Dani – you are losing it!
The doorbell rings and there is a blonde mechanic outside, apologizing for the delay in fixing their vehicle. He’s speaking with the Asgardian font – which get use to it as once we leave the team, everyone talks in that font.
The mechanic had to repair the church and so that caused the delay in their car repair so he knock a few hundred dollars off. The church is where a woman support group meets, which that group gets mention later in the issue as well.
Magma is given the keys to the car, as they are mesmerized by the mechanic. He is force to comment on how they are just staring at the poor guy. He leaves as he is given no response.
Once he is gone, Sunspot shouts that was Thor and they all run after the mechanic. The mechanic has made it to his garage, so the New Mutants must have been staring off at him for quite some time.
I’m being confused by the setting of the story, are they in San Francisco or are they in Braxton with the Asgardians? Or is there a weird divide and they can be in two locations at the same time? I’m sure those types of answers were established in the first story.
So the New Mutants confront the mechanic, he laughs at being called, Thor. He is a blonde mechanic with a giant hammer, he gets a lot. He also makes a reference to the awesome Elizabeth Shue film, Adventures in Babysitting.
Thanks to YouTuber geligniteandallies for hosting the video!
Yes, that is Vincent D’Onofrio! He’s going to be the Kingpin in the Netflix Daredevil series.
I still wonder what made the scriptwriter, David Simkins, write Thor into the script. So funny now, back in 1987, Marvel would have let anyone use their characters (hence the reason why FOX owns X-Men and Fantastic Four and Sony has Spider-Man) but Disney made Adventures in Babysitting (via Touchstone Pictures) and now they own Marvel, so they can have Thor be in all of their films. If only!
Speaking of Thor, I like the character, I just have some caveats. I like him on Earth, for the most part. I get he’s an Asgardian but I have no real interest in the day to day of that. I mostly like him in team environments or when he is surrounded by other known characters, like in a crossover event. The only time I ever bought his solo ongoing was after Heroes Return when Dan Jurgens (of Superman fame) and John Romita Jr. was on art. That was such a great series! Plenty of guest stars and they did do Asgard but they made it interesting.
Anyway, what I’m getting at is that I really like Adventures in Babysitting and I’m surprised it took this long to make a reference to it in Thor related comic. Unless it happens more than I know but I doubt it.
So the Asgardians (who I’m not sure know that they are Asgardians or if they fake it in case people are ease dropping) dress in everyday clothes and have regular jobs. Fandral enters the garage and speaks with Thor about the mistaken identity. Fandral’s name is Andy and Thor’s is Arthur (get it?)
In another house, young children named, Luke and Leia (yep) are in their house alone. Luke is playing a board game of strategy and Leia is tired of him playing with himself (the comic makes the joke!). I get the impression that Luke is the one who is behind all of the mysterious goings on.
Leia gets bored of him and goes into their mother’s recycling truck as she just showed up. Helen shouts, bring out your dead (so she must be Hela) and Leia comments on how that makes everyone around them uncomfortable.
Luke apparently was dragged along on this quest. He goes into a bakery as he wants some glazed doughnuts. We see that Volstagg is the baker and that he has eaten all the glazed doughnuts as his face, belly and hands are covered in glaze.
A blonde lady enters the bakery (this must be the same baker that Doug was talking about) looking for the gluten-free, unseeded, non-dairy, unsugared, unleavened buns. Volstagg, of course, hasn’t eaten those and thus, the buns are available. She is buying them for the support group.
There is a cute moment when the blonde lady says that Volstagg looks delicious and he asks her to repeat it and she says the buns look delicious.
Luke leaves disappointed and gets chased by a dog.
Tiffany offers Luke to join her self-defense class and he turns her down. Another man states that he is happy with that decision as Luke is already a handful.
Luke runs into the New Mutants. Apparently, he is a fan of them. He is glad that he ran into them as he was thinking of stalking them. He likes that they are hated and feared and wonders if that means they get better service now. Poor Luke is hated but he’s not feared.
Luke goes on to comment about how he is half mutant and sent in an application to the Jean Grey School. Then he doesn’t know if that is insulting or not, and asks them which side (of the Schism) are they on.
Dani tries to put a stop to this one sided conversation but Luke keeps going on about how he was Wolverine for Halloween.
Dani finally breaks in and says that he is Loki. Which didn’t even dawn on me. Maybe because I’ve been saying it to myself as Luke in the traditional sense but sometimes the caption boxes call him “Luc” like “Look” which would make more sense.
Luke / Loki states that she has the wrong guy. So in the previous issue, is when Loki become Kid Loki – and started on his path of capturing the hearts and minds of comic fans. Dani is a Valkyrie and can see Kid Loki for who he really is. She tries to remind him about Sigurd and what happened the previous night.
Doug announces that he is the trickster of Asgard and no spell can hold him back. Poor Kid Loki goes into a spasm.
Magma gets bad at Doug, he was only trying to do what Magik would have done in this situation.
Kid Loki now remembers who he rightfully is. He wants a helmet to fell complete again.
Dani wants answers, Kid Loki tells them that they need to all go to Sigurd’s abode and search for clues – just like they do on television.
At Sigurd’s place. Doug has found some armor. Sunspot found a bunch of take-out food. Kid Loki arrives in a Grant Morrison styled X-Uniform. which is way to big for him.
Sigurd shows up, he’s hungry. Dani starts asking a slew of questions. She wants to know what happened to the Disir. Whenever Sigurd says the name, it is written D-i-s-i-r, I have no idea the significance of that.
Apparently the Disir eat Asgardians, so they are the woman who are starving themselves. So he cast a spell that made all Asgardians forget who they are. Magma states that there were good Asgardians who now don’t know who they are. Sigurd’s only response is that that is a shame. Dani’s comeback of, you took out one of the greatest heroes in history and all you can say for yourself is that it is a shame. That’s a funny line!
Sigurd isn’t a magician, he bought the spell so the dealer should have a counter-spell.
Kid Loki needs some time to come up with a counter-spell.
Sigurd starts hitting on Dani, she is the hot one of the group, even with Magma standing right there. Oh, the irony!
In an alley, a dog is barking at a cat. The blonde from the bakery picks up the cat and devours it. So the Disir are cats, I guess? Now the starving women have something to eat, they should all be happy!
That’s how the issue ends, seems like it should be a pretty good story but I’m out of it.
By this point in the title, I have dropped the title and missed this issue originally. I also skipped Fear Itself, except for the Uncanny X-Men tie in issues.
I had bought this issue before my birthday and meant to include it in that event but it was too close to the 31 of January so I threw it in the back of my back issues and now here we are.
The New Mutants finally make it to Hel, after a detour in actual Hell, which was Doug’s fault due to his bad translation. So now Magma owes Mephisto a date.
The New Mutants are at this point – Dani, Cypher, Warlock, Magma, Sunspot and X-Man Nate Grey, in an unofficial capacity.
The team gets to Helheim, Hela’s palace. Fear Itself was about ancient Norse evils coming to Earth, so it makes sense that the New Mutants’ tie in would involve Hela as she made Dani a Valkyrie back during the Dark Avengers vs. Uncanny X-Men event that lead to the Utopia era. Now Dani owes Hela a favor.
Before this issue, I own issue 30 and after this issue is 45 so I’m piecing things together as my memory of the then current comics and what this issue provides.
Hela is dead, being run through and place on a spike on the roof.
Lafuente and Rodriguez trade off on different pages and scenes for the issue. The colorists also trade off on pages but they don’t sync up with the particular artists. Makes for a kinetic issue.
The New Mutants and X-Man are getting ready to stand their ground, as this might be it. The oncoming storm of dead Norse characters are on their way to finish the job.
Doug tells Magma that he can translate weather now, as it is all sound and that’s his gig. The storm is angry and reveals names to Doug. Threadcutter, Breathraker, Hearthbreaker, Bloodletter, Bonegrinder these make up the Dramaur, who will kill the team if they have their way.
Like the main threat in Fear Itself, Odin has dealt with them previously and have erased them from myth. Which really plays into the legends aspect of memory, if you are a legend but no one remembers you, are you really a legend?
Doug had one shot to send them to Hel correctly and with time, but do to his mistake, they lost time and he is upset with himself. Magma tries to sooth him. From what I recall, the date is pretty funny and Mephisto shows her a good time. I’m sure it has also been forgotten about as I can’t imagine the X-Office would want Magma to keep a relationship going with the devil himself. Though he is a better match for her than Empath will ever be.
This issue does have some nice matchups with characters that wouldn’t normally be paired together.
Sunspot and Nate are at a different section of the palace, on lookout. Sunspot wonders if Nate regrets coming along with them. Nate states that he didn’t hesitate at all, he just jumped in. He isn’t even part of the team. Which I like how that works out. Their first mission under Abnett & Lanning’s tenure was to rescue X-Man and so they did, from Sugar Man. Nate is nowhere near as powerful as he use to be, he barely has his telekinesis powers. Just because you get rescued and then the team starts another adventure, doesn’t necessarily mean that you are part of the team. They just haven’t shaken you off yet.
After editorial wouldn’t pull the trigger on a Dani / Cannonball relationship, they did try with Nate and Dani but I don’t believe that lasted outside of a kiss here and there, if that. Not every female character needs to be weighted down by a dude.
Nate is bemoaning the fact that his powers are at an all time low. Bobby picks up a piece of hail (it is snowing in Hel, that’s not good) and tells him a piece of advice that Xavier gave him. Concentrate on a small spot, really focus on it and grow your powers from there. Bobby refers to this time as when he was a New Mutant, which still bugs me, they don’t refer to their team as New Mutants do they? It doesn’t make any sense. But do any of the actual teams call themselves by the name on their comic cover? I believe Wolverine’s X-Force did and X-Factor did but Wolverine and the X-Men are called the Jean Grey School. Cyclops’ doesn’t call his team the Uncanny X-Men nor does Kitty call her team the All New X-Men, they only refer to themselves as X-Men, which isn’t really marketable.
Before Nate and ask all of these questions, how neat would that had been? Warlock shouts at them that the Draumar are coming!
They start attacking the palace en mass. Magma blocks some debris from hitting Doug. Warlock doesn’t like their chances as they are not prepared prepared for this, to which Bobby swears at him. I like seeing Warlock with any other character besides Doug, as we know their relationship but not really how he gets along with the other members.
Dani is watching over Hela’s body. A crow keeps trying to peck at Hela’s body, which disgusts Dani. Dani is complaining to Hela that they have no defenses here and could really use some help, as she keeps swatting the bird away. The crow eventually works its way into Hela’s mouth, which really disgusts Dani.
Hela starts coughing and explains the situation. She put her mind into the crow as she knew this was the best course for her survival. Hela makes a joke about it being “foul tasting.” Dani is shock that Hela wasn’t dead. Hela is the queen of the dead, how can she be forced to live by mortal-realm concepts? Hela, once she put her soul into the bird, brought the New Mutants here to safeguard her until the time was right. Dani can’t believe Hela trusted her with her soul. By bringing them there, I mean, she sent a message and Doug, whose power is to translate, didn’t translate it correctly. If he knew it was from Hela, that would have been a nice shortcut.
Hela explains who the Draumar are, they are the spirits killed by Odin, and now have been merged into these giant monsters, and what is keeping them together is the energy of serpent. If successful, they will break out of Hel and then go to Midgard (Earth).
Hela doesn’t know how to defeat them, Dani asks if she can do anything and Hela states she can slow them down, with a smirk. I like this fun Hela, there is no reason why she shouldn’t be. She’s the mother of Loki, and that guy has a bunch of fun.
The New Mutants are then cloaked with Asgardian armor. Which makes Magma look like Magik.
The team closes ranks. Warlock makes a Conan reference, crush your enemy and hear the lamentation of his women, which is a great line. Maybe the best line. Dani catches up to the team, and they are united for the first time this issue.
Bobby jokes that Magma has a date with the devil and she comments that the date will be light compared to this fight. Doug likes having Asgardian vigor. Doug also comments on that this is only a delay tactic. Dani calls him a pessimist and he counters with that he is a realist. Nice to see those two interacting as well, for the same reasons.
Nate has taken Bobby’s advice and is blasting the warrior monsters with energy.
Warlock starts smacking some of the warriors with his limbs. This frightens the Draumar, as they don’t understand his advance technology. Seizing on this new found weakness of fear, Nate has Hela reveal his memories to the warriors. Before she does it, Nate confirms that she is the Goddess of Death. Which her response is awesome “Depending on your belief system I am a specific cultural aspect of” and Nate is okay with that being an affirmative.
So Hela does open his memories to the warriors and we get a pretty nice page of the X-Men of the Age of Apocalypse. Except that the dirt-bag-killing-his-wife-Kitty-Pryde Colossus is there (an action figure never coming to you) so that ruins it, even if he is a very tiny part on the page, he’s still there.
Now this really frightens them. Doug explains that the Draumar are ancient and have not kept up with modern times so they have no frame of reference for any of the images they are seeing. Now they fear these new visions and that starts unbinding them. Thus, the day is finally saved.
Hela is quick to point out that this encounter is over but the bigger fight is still raging on on the surface. But its a decent tie in, a problem that was unique to this title and I’m sure didn’t play any role in the larger Fear Itself crossover.
Hela tells them to go home, as their role is done. Hela needs to go be on Asgard’s side in the conflict. Magma states “don’t mention it” and Hela is quick to state, I won’t.
Danni states, and she didn’t as they are back on Utopia in the X-Brig as they have been telling this story for a third party.
That third party? Is Magik, and the issue ends with her asking, how was Hell? I bought this issue for this one page.
I could have wrote, New Mutants go to Hel, come back and tell Magik what was up. But would that have counted as a post? Maybe not a good one.
So Schism happens after this issue as issue 33 has the Regenesis branding and Magik isn’t shown being told that story.
The cover is the only place that Lockheed can be found!
The Pet Avengers are – Lockjaw, Zabu, Furball, Ms. Lion, Redwing and Throg! No mention of Lockheed, which is unbelievable! Now I have joked in the past about being one of those X-Men conspiracy theorists but now that Lockheed isn’t considered a member of the team, I think there is something going on with the X-Office!
The Pet Avengers don’t have the Mind Gem, any longer, so they don’t sync up their minds with Rocket or Cosmo, so we don’t hear anything from the non-English speaking members, so we don’t get any reference to them, not talking about Lockheed.
This is a real shame that Lockheed has been kicked off the team. All due to editorial.
Issue opens with Rocket and Cosmo, on monitor duty. Cosmo, to pass the time, starts talking about other animal heroes. Twooatu, the Cosmic Owl. Graavalian Wormatoid.
Starting the running subplot of the issue, Rocket just wants to drink his very illegal beer. Cosmo keeps it away from him. Rocket gives chase and sees that Cosmo teleported off the spaceship so Rocket does the same. I guess at some point, Cosmo joined the Guardians of the Galaxy, or at least, stays with them on their ship.
Cosmo speaks with this interesting accent but it is hard to read sometimes – essentially, anything that ends with -ing ends with -ink. Listenink / shiftink / snoozink – maybe not hard to read but it makes me notice the spelling, thus takes me out of the story.
Somewhere on Earth . . . Rocket catches Cosmo playing poker with the Pet Avengers! Lockjaw / Zabu / Ms. Lion / Throg / Redwing / Hairball. Rocket is mostly upset that Cosmo never told him that the dog knew how to play poker. They could have been playing poker this entire time!
All of a sudden, the wall busts down. We get the Vulture Von Doom and the Pets of Evil Masters! I imagine the name is a take off of the first two minis being titled “Lockjaw and the Pet Avengers” which I always thought was a silly title, just call it “Pet Avengers.”
Good thing we are given who their masters are, as I don’t recognize any of them.
Vulture Von Doom – Doctor Doom
Thori – Loki’s hellhound
Falconia – Lady Falcona’s Familiar (who?)
Mikhol – One of the Red Ghost’s Super Apes – who I totally called as being a member of the team
Tiger Wild – Doctor Doom’s Attack Tiger
Cuddles – Princess Python’s Killer Snake – of Circus of Crime fame – I haven’t heard anything with them in a while
Bitey McSpidey-Bite – Mutant Radioactive Spider – the same spider that bit Peter Parker and Silk – who I also thought was dead.
The Pets of Evil Masters take out the Pet Avengers, rather easily and take off with Lockjaw. Rocket now has to go save them, begrudgingly.
Cosmo can read minds, including animal minds, so that explains how he can play poker with the Pet Avengers. I’m not sure why Cosmo doesn’t link all of their minds.
Latveria. Castle Doom. Vulture Von Doom is evil-monologueingm. eviloguing? He is a vulture who has been hiding in the shadows of the castle. So he isn’t like a secret pet that Doom has been keeping, this entire time.
Editor, Xander the Xandarian Historian, informs us that Vulture Von Doom’s plan references the original Pet Avengers miniseries. He is planning on absorbing the cosmic energy that the Pet Avengers were exposed to, when they had the Infinity Gems as he is planning to create his own cosmic cube.
Rocket and the Pet Avengers get to the castle, rather easily. Rocket still only wants his beer back. The beer has been shaken so Rocket just shoots it and the cans explode. Everything is covered in sticky beer. With this sequence of events, the Pet Avengers take out the Masters of Evil Pets, quickly. It was the element of surprised that was their undoing last time.
Rocket gives the Pet Avengers a back handed compliment. He takes off Vulture Von Doom’s helmet and he freaks out as he believes he is hideous. Rocket informs him that all vultures look that way.
You decide –
or
I still say turkeys are the more unattractive bird!
Some off model Doombots – actually, Servo Guards – arrive to clean up and take the vulture away. Doom is aware of the vulture and apparently, he gets up to these silly schemes in the past.
Sector QXM78-67EMX. Pleiades Quadrant. Planet Klaatu. Grott, the Man-Slayer has come back to this universe, from somewhere where he didn’t have a body. He will have his revenge. Unfortunately, for him, Rocket, Cosmo and the Pet Avengers are ready for him.
I can only imagine these two pages were added so that Lanning & Schmidt could work in a “I am Grott” gag and Rocket says he already knows a guy with that shtick. I imagine “Grott” and “Groot” sound alike, right? It isn’t just the spelling of their names.
Issue ends with Lockjaw teleporting and giving Rocket a fresh case of his beer. So the Pet Avengers are not that bad, now.
Not a bad story, I just wish Lockheed was involved or at least, mentioned.
