Writer Brian Michael Bendis

Artist David Lafuente

Colorist Justin Ponsor

Letterer VC’s Cory Petit

Cover Dated August 2010

Tainted Love, Part Three of Six

Aunt May was at the school assembly and comes home, declaring that there will be no more super heroes.  She wants them to stop until the heat goes down.  Aunt May thinks Johnny is cute.  Gwen wants to know if anyone has heard from Kitty.

Bobby hasn’t and Aunt May is worried about whoever becomes the new principal.  She is mostly worried about having one of her kids being hunted by the government.  Aunt May was the boys to take this opportunity to be normal and live their lives, properly.  Bobby wants to look for Kitty.

Gwen reminds them that Kenny is with Kitty.  Bobby is worried Kitty is going to join a Brotherhood of Evil Mutants – I would be more worried about her starting one.

Very funny exchange about Peter calling Bobby paranoid and him committing to it.

Aunt May wants the costumes to stay in the closet.  She also lets them know that she knows how to use the Internet and will be checking for any superhero sightings.

Bobby wants to use this opportunity to get a job, as he has no money.  Peter says the Burger Frog is hiring.  Bobby is new there, so he is called, a Tad Pole.  Pretty clever, management.  Johnny shows up to harass Bobby and gets his underpants frozen, as thanks.

Mary Jane arrives,Kitty wouldn’t have called her.  Mary Jane has tried Kenny’s house but no one answers the phone.  Is Bobby hitting on Mary Jane?  She wants to speak with Gwen too.  I like how Gwen misunderstands Mary Jane’s intentions, as she says Peter can talk to her on his own, as she trusts him.  Bobby’s “Dun Dun Dun” is fun.

Mary Jane shows the footage that she recorded.  Mary Jane wants advice on what to do with the footage.  She would like to use the footage to save Principal Suitress’ job, or at least, his reputation.  Gwen and Peter have a quick fight, what is that about?  Peter knows the best person to talk to.

Peter takes Mary Jane to the Daily Bugle.  Peter introduces Mary Jane to Ben Urich.  The Daily Bugle is an exclusive online newspaper now.  Peter misses the old fashion office, whereas Mary Jane really digs the new layout.  Ben doesn’t remember meeting Mary Jane before, but from the dialogue, I take it, it wasn’t on panel.

Urich is impress with Mary Jane’s whereof all to film the event.  Urich explains their situation – it is news but you don’t want to make the victim more of a victim.  On the other hand, the FBI was grossly wrong and the principal was trying to make it right.  He offers to pay Mary Jane for the footage.

There is an ad for the Honda Insight.

He offers ten thousand, pumps it up to twenty thousand and Mary Jane keeps declining.  He was only testing her, to make sure she was serious.  Urich states that they don’t show the footage, they report it.  He asks if they know where Kitty is, and they don’t.

Peter sees Jameson, and his spider sense goes off.  Peter starts following his trail.  Mary Jane tries to cover for Peter.  Urich asks how long she has known Kitty, she says on this school year.

Peter catches up to Jameson, and he doesn’t recognize the kid, so Peter knows something is wrong.  We get the cover scene recreated.  He knocks Peter out in his confusion.  Jameson takes Peter’s wallet and puts Peter in his trunk.  He wakes Peter up, and while holding his face, shifts into Peter.  This is the first appearance of Ultimate Chameleon, which is a shame as he is the first super villain that proper Spider-Man fought.

He knocks out Peter, once he learns his voice.  Apparently it hurts when he shifts his height from 5’11 to 5’5.

“Peter” heads back up to Mary Jane and Urich, as he saw him talking to them earlier.  Urich is still asking questions, such as if Mary Jane knew she was an X-Man.  She did, as Kitty was very open about that.  The issue ends with Peter confirming he doesn’t want to be on the record.

I will be reviewing issue 155 of Ultimate Spider-Man next.

Writer Brian Michael Bendis

Artist David Lafuente

Colorist Justin Ponsor

Letterer VC’s Cory Petit

Cover Dated July 2010

Tainted Love, Part Two of Six

Issue opens with the principal asking the agents to have a heart.  The one agent saying the class is only for humans, is going way to far!  What mess up federal law was that?  Kenny punches the agent to his dumb face.  Johnny has some respect for Kenny now.  Agent Stevenson is the not horrible one.  Kenny starts shouting about how Kitty is innocent.

Bobby wants to get in the fight but Peter says to stand down.  Johnny also wants to do something but listens to Peter.  Peter asks Kitty to put an end to this, and with a tear, she dies inside.  Her one non-powered friend, is willing to go to jail to her, while her three powered friends, decide to just stand there and do nothing.

Kitty stands up and tells everyone to stop.  One of the agents tries to arrest her but she reminds Kenny that she was an X-Man.

Kitty starts phasing Kenny through the floor.  Everyone is happy that she is on the run, which is an odd reaction.  The agents start running, somewhere.  The principal and Peter exchange a look.

Iron Man is coming to theaters as there is a slew of products.

Kitty has phased the two of them into the sewer.  Kitty is pretty thankful to Kenny for standing up for her.  Kenny awkwardly tells her that he still loves her, but it wasn’t like he wanted to get back with her, that wasn’t his motivation.  Though, he would get back with her, if she wanted to.  I don’t quite recall them dating or why they broke up, but I’m sure we’ll get to those issues one day.  They kiss.

That is some kiss!  Kitty comes up with a plan.

At a school assembly, the principal is disgusted by the turn of events.  He gives an impassioned speech, which ends with him stating he is resigning.  Not like it mattered, as he was about to be fired, regardless.

At the Parker Home for Wayward Heroes.  No one is happy with their decision.  Peter knew that it would have escalated if powers got involved.  Bobby really wanted to do something, X-Men Represent, yo!  Peter tells everyone to hero up and they end over to Kitty’s house.  The media has gotten word of what happened and they are camped out in front of the Pryde home.  Spider-Man sees something.

There is a huge explosion!  The Shroud appears and starts cursing at the stupid flatscanners.

Spider-Man foolishly dives at the Shroud and passes right through the person.  Bobby uses the word, phase, and finally figures out who the Shroud.  A mystery that has lasted since the first issue of this relaunch.  Shroud punches Bobby’s dumb face.

The Shroud takes off her mask, revealing her to be . . . KITTY PRYDE!!!  Which is a pretty awesome reveal.

Shroud is disgusted with her would-be friends.  Why will they help her now when they wouldn’t at the beginning of all of this?  Shroud calls Human Torch a himbo, a word that was popular back in 2010, oh so many years ago.

Ultimate Kitty becomes like the Proper Vision, is that she controls her density, which is a power upgrade I wish the Proper Kitty Pryde would learn.  It makes her even more of a threat.

Spider-Man wants her to stop, as she is becoming the threat the media always said she was.  She goes all Quieten Quire and says that, Magneto was right.

Shroud superpunches Spider-Man’s stupid face.  Mrs. Pryde wants Spider-Man, who crashed through her window, to help her daughter.

Human Torch tells her to calm down, which is something that has always helped.  Iceman freezes Shroud, he walks up to the ice cube to inspect it and Shroud phases her head, resulting in giving him a headbutt.  A move, I would never recommend anyone does, it hurts both you and your opponent.

Shroud explains the obvious power upgrade.  She gets to lash out on her silly friends.  She calls Spider-Man, a human, which is as low as insults go.  Iceman is a race traitor.  She starts phasing into the ground.

The boys head over to a manhole cover.  Johnny heats it, Bobby freezes it and Spider-Man smashes it with his foot.  He does go as far as to say that he could have done his part from the beginning.  Or, you know, they could have just lifted it like people do.

Johnny isn’t built for sewers.  They can’t see her, even with Johnny’s flame lighting the way.  Spider-Man shouts that they love her and they only want to help.  Iceman calls her, Kit, which doesn’t sound good.  Johnny wants them to leave, like how she requested.

I know Lafuente has a rep for being a cartoony artist but look at that page above.  So much intensity there!

Issue ends with Mary Jane reviewing the recording she made.  Jessica Jones looks over her shoulder and declares that Mary Jane just bought herself into any college she will want to attend.

I relooked at the pages above and I don’t see her recording any of it, she is simply holding her binder but maybe it was from the previous issue.

I will be reviewing the next chapter of this storyline and it will be my last as Kitty doesn’t show up for the rest of the storyline or the series until the 15th issue.  I have that issue on my Wishlist.

Writer Brian Michael Bendis

Artist David Lafuente

Colorist Justin Ponsor

Letterer VC’s Cory Petit

Cover Dated June 2010

Tainted Love, Part One of Six

I only only the first three chapters of this storyline and will be reviewing all three shortly.

This volume of Ultimate Spider-Man happens after Ultimatum, me pointing that out will make sense at the end of the issue.

Brooklyn, 12:45pm – Bombshell (who is a mother and daughter team – the younger one will later be a member of the All New Ultimates) are knocking over an armor truck.  The truck only has six bags of cash but that should be enough. All I really need in life is like $100,000.00 and I could be out of debt – student loans be crazy!

They are glad there are no police or Spider-Man around when they both get webbing in their eyes.  They start spouting profanities, which I always read as “fuck.”  Spider-Woman calls them out on their language.  The mother daughter team keeps swearing.  The mother wants Lana to take the money and run but she isn’t going without a fight.  I wonder if they talk about this exchange ever, once they are on the same team.  Lana calls Spider-Woman nothing but a Spider-Man wanna be with a B-Cup.  Which she must barely be an A-Cup, so that must be some jealousy with the comment.

Nothing wrong with a B-Cup, look at Ashley Judd and Andie McDowell, even Michelle Pfeiffer.

Human Torch shows up, makes a crack about how there is enough of him for all the women present.  Johnny chases them with fire and Spider-Woman knocks them out.  Johnny tries to ask Spider-Woman out and she motors.

Poor Jessica, let’s just call her that, finds a dark place and takes her mask off.  Johnny was stalking her, so he now sees her actual face and is even more in love.  He would marry her, if she would have him.  He keeps pressing her for a date.  She can’t believe he won’t let up.

Over at Midtown High School.  Peter is trying to get to class, his girlfriend – Gwen Stacy – wants to take him to the ladies bathroom.  He is still maintaining his A grade point average.

Kitty points out the stall he is suppose to go into.  Mary Jane is there and it is time for Peter’s haircut.  Which I was going to comment on, before the page, but his hair was so long, I thought it was Kitty for a moment.

I’m with Peter, I wouldn’t want these three broads hanging out together and eating lunch – nothing good can come from that.  Except for this haircut!  They all point out how round his head is, when he wears his mask, he has a perfectly round head.  Which I can only imagine this is a fun critique of Lafuente’s cartoony style.

Tandy, Ultimate Dagger, comes into the stall and is not thrilled that there is a boy in the room nor a haircut taking place.  To make it worst, a mutant is amongst them.  I wonder if Kitty ever brought this up with Dagger later.  I remember her being racist but her current persona isn’t like this at all.  I wonder if Bendis regretted this or purposely did it to build her into a better person.

Parker Home.  Aunt May loves the haircut.  This is during the era when Spider-Man, Iceman, Human Torch and Gwen Stacy lived in her house.  Such a great era!  Bobby thinks Peter has a pretty face.  Johnny comes home and tells everyone that he is in love.

There is an ad for Amazing Spider-Man 538, by Joe Quesada, which came out in June 2010.  The ad is promoting, One Moment in Time, so I’ve not been collecting Spider-Man comics for a solid five years.

Johnny thanks Peter, if it wasn’t for him, he never would have known love.  Peter isn’t sure who is a hot chick he knows as Spider-Man.  He names Silver Sabre, Elektra and Black Cat.  Gwen is not too happy that Peter knows so many hot ladies.  Both Johnny and Bobby want to meet this Black Cat.  Gwen thinks they all sound like skanks.  All three of them are well in their twenties, so they wouldn’t waste any time with a teenager.  Which is the right call.

Johnny finally explains which hot chick it is, Spider-Woman.  Peter can’t believe it is Jessica who Johnny is attracted to.  Which is a good time to mention how clever a line of Bobby saying Peter has a pretty face is.  Jessica is Peter’s clone, so if she is pretty – at all- then that means he has a pretty face.  If Johnny is attracted to Jessica, then there must be something that he finds attractive about Peter.

Making things worst, is that Johnny claims he made out with Jessica.  Hearing this, and getting it confirmed a few more times, Peter runs out of the house in a panic.  If Jessica did kiss Johnny, and I highly suspect that she didn’t, then there must be something in Peter that is attracted to Johnny.  Which this is a subject matter that the opposite-gender clone plotline (it happens) rarely deals with.

Spider-Man goes on a crime fighting spree that involves punching Ultimate Owl.  Do you know how to draw an owl?  You draw two circles . . . and then you draw the rest of the owl.

I saw this a few days ago and I keep thinking about it.

Back at school.  One of their teachers, Ms. Shutz, is trying to inspire seniors to do better in their classes.  Johnny is still pestering Peter for why he way overreacted.  Outside of the classroom, the principal and two federal agents are looking into the room.  The principal wants Kitty to get her things and head outside.

Kitty is confused what the principal could want.  This is what he referenced to in an earlier appearance (which I’m not sure was on panel) that the school may have problems with her being a mutant.  She didn’t do anything, in fact, she’s the model student.

Kitty gets it together and starts thinking about the situation.  What can anyone even do to her.  She can phase through their bullets then then the idiot behind her will be killed.  Which I really like the reaction of the fool who sits behind her, he is very concern.

Marjorie Liu is interviewed on the Women of Marvel page, that was a thing during this year.  I had forgotten she was around Marvel even back then.

The agents start making a move on Kitty.  Peter finally stands up and says what they are attempting is not right.  Also, that they are trying to make Kitty mad so that they can justify their incorrect actions. The issue ends with Peter yelling at Kitty to run as she whispers that all she wants is to go to school like everybody else.