Writer Brian Michael Bendis
Artist Sara Pichelli
Colorist Justin Ponsor
Letterer VC’s Cory Petit
Cover Dated December 2010
I’m not sure why this isn’t titled, Tainted Love Part Seven of Seven; as it deals with the direct fallout of the previous storyline plus this is the final issue of Ultimate Spider-Man Volume Two.
In the previous issues, the Chameleon twins have taken over and ruined Peter Parker’s life. They mess up his relationships with both Mary Jane and Gwen. Apparently what they did to Gwen was pretty awful, it is only stated that it was worst for her than Mary Jane but I couldn’t find any reviews online that states what exactly happened to Gwen. Iceman and Human Torch rescued Peter and J. Jonah Jameson, who n ow knows that Peter is Spider-Man.
The Tirskelion-SHIELD Headquarters. Last Night. Carol Danvers, Director of SHIELD> I like how the first four pages have Peter in a bed, while Carol here, and Aunt May in the next scene, tell him how sorry they are that his life has been ruined and he needs time to recover. Danvers isn’t sure why Fury kept Parker around, he should stop being Spider-Man, graduate high school – and maybe go back to being Spider-Man once he is ready for college. Danvers suspects that Peter suffered enough.
The Home of Peter Parker. Aunt May. Now Peter is in his own bed. She is telling her nephew that he doesn’t have to go to school today but Peter wants to get back into his life. Aunt May tells Peter to talk to Gwen.
Midtown High School, Study Hall. Mary Jane Watson. Mary Jane seems to be in a daze state. Gwen is behind her, wanting to talk to her but decides against it. She walks back and Mary Jane finally notices someone is behind her. They are awkwardly talking about how they now know that the Peter who hurt them, was not really Peter. Mary Jane wonders if they know who the fake Peter was. Gwen confirms that it was a man, so I’m not sure what physically happened to these two ladies. Gwen reveals that she did kiss fake Peter, so did Mary Jane.
Gwen feels horrible, as she forced Peter to be her boyfriend. She knew he loves Mary Jane but she was selfish. Gwen doesn’t want to live in the same house as her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. She also really wants her father to be alive, she needs someone to talk to. Gwen is mad at Peter and Mary Jane tells her to talk to him. Gwen mentions how fake Peter used both of them, and I start really wanting to know what the extent of the abuse was. I can only imagine that it was strictly kissing. Gwen recognizes that Mary Jane is the perfect girl for Peter, as she can hear that it was a supervillain and instantly forgive Peter.
Gwen is done with all of this nonsense. She likes that she is friends with Mary Jane but she can’t really be friends with a girl who is in love with the same boy that she is. That is pretty awkward. Gwen knows, now, that if Mary Jane was given a chance with Peter, she would take it. Gwen hugs Mary Jane and she is out of there.
St. Mary’s Hospital. J. Jonah Jameson, Publisher of the Daily Bugle. Jameson is recovering from his near fatal gunshot, he brings in Ben Urich and Robbie Robertson. Jameson wants to run a story about what really happened, that there were twin Chameleons and he knows who Spider-Man really is. He isn’t going to reveal that information to the world, but he wants the world to know that he knows who Spider-Man is. He wants to clear Spider-Man’s good name.
Back at Midtown High School. Peter is in the classroom with both Mary Jane and Gwen, no one is talking to each other. Their teacher is asking if anyone read, Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 – which I still haven’t. Apparently no one else has either, in the classroom, as no one is answering the questions and it was assigned to them at the beginning of the year. Their teacher’s name is Miss Langraff. They are welcoming a new student today.
Miss Langraff tells Lana Baumgartner that she can sit at Kitty Pryde’s old seat, hence, I bought this issue. I’m glad that Hastings had two of the issues I had on my wishlist so there are two comics off the list. Lana has read Fahrenheit 451, as it was assigned last year at her school. She is already ahead of the class. Miss Langraff asks for her opinion on the book and Lana starts swearing up a storm – which in a very clever sequence, Peter instantly recognizes her as the younger Bombshell.
There is a double page ad for the Honda CR-Z, sport hybrid, so go out and buy one of those.
Johnny and Bobby are catching up with Peter. Peter tells them about how the younger Bombshell is now at their school. Bobby thinks a mother daughter criminal duo is hot and Peter doesn’t know how that could be. Johnny remembers that he had a run in with the Bombshells, which happened in issue nine of this volume. Bobby would like to date Lana. Peter, instead, is going to be the one that talks to her, to make sure she doesn’t blow up the school.
Peter engages with Lana, who can’t believe someone is going to hit on her on her first day. Lana is pretty funny here. She wants Peter to keep his puberty off of her and his motivates are strictly to learn if the new girl puts out or not. She starts to walk away from him, and he tells her that he knows she is Bombshell, which halts her.
She can’t believe he knows about her criminal past. He tells her it was due to her potty mouth. Lana explains that her mother is in jail and she was given this form of probation and she lives with her grandmother, who apparently smells like sardines. Peter asks her to not to blow up the school, which she was never going to do. She is using this second chance for all that it is worth.
Mary Jane and Gwen are spying on Peter as he talks to this new girl. They are rightfully upset that he is taking the time to talk to this new broad and he hasn’t taken the chance to speak with them.
Bobby can’t believe that Peter is getting yet another girl.
Later, in the student newspaper room; Peter finally talks to Mary Jane. She is reading Jameson’s exclusive. Peter reads it and can’t believe Jameson doesn’t out him. Peter confirms to Mary Jane that the article explains everything that actually happened.
Mary Jane can’t believe yet another person knows that he is Spider-Man. Mary Jane tells him that she isn’t mad at him but she wants him to talk to Gwen. He wanted to go in the order of who was less mad at him. Mary Jane states that Fake Peter hit on her only because he could tell how much she liked him and he went for it. She shut it down, as it didn’t feel right.
At the Parker Home, Gwen Stacy is packed and is moving out. Peter really should have spoken with her sooner.
Issue ends with promoting that Ultimate Spider-Man 150 is coming next.
Inside back cover ad is for Wolverine and the X-Men, such a great complete series box set. I’ve listened to those commentary tracks so many times! Craig Kyle and Chris Yost is so funny on them!
Back cover ad is for the 2011 Mazda3 which tries to incorporate Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus and Peter and Mary Jane, which at least tries to tie in comic book characters in a comic book ad.