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Exiles 34

Posted by John Klein III on January 1, 2016
Posted in: Review. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a comment

Exiles 34

Writer Judd Winick

Penciler Jim Calafiore

Inker Mark McKenna

Colors Transparency Digital

Letters Dave Sharpe

Cover Dated November 2003

A Second Farewell, Part Two of Two

Exiles 34 Recap Page

Previously in everyone’s favorite comic that perfectly mixes Quantum Leap with the X-Men – After defeating the Vampire King, the Exiles were leaping away, when he cast a spell on them.  The team got separated, across various dimensions.  Maybe this is a better mix of Sliders and X-Men, or a mix of all three.  In the previous issue, Sasquatch and Morph ended up in a world where Wolverine had just escaped the Weapon X Program.

This issue, Nocturne and Sunfire are on the Earth from Exiles 20, 21 and 23.  The world overrun by the Vi-Locks.  The world wherein the Phanlax came to Earth, took over the heroes of the day and started going after everyone else.

12 Miles Outside of Las Vegas, Nevada.  9:47PM.  Nocturne and Sunfire are in the middle of the desert, Mariko is exhausted and completely out of it.

Exiles 34 Magik mentioned

It doesn’t take long before Nocturne realizes that they are not near their teammates.  TJ shouts for everyone, except for Magik – and Sunfire notices that, immediately.  Illyana is a tad intense for this team.

There is a fun moment when TJ realizes that Mariko is using alliteration.  “Mensa member at the moment” and “terrific time to talk in tongue twisters.”

Nocturne can see in the dark, but the Vi-Locks come up from behind.  Sunfire is able to get it together enough to fly them both out of harm’s way.  Unfortunately, Mariko passes out, in mid-flight.  

32 hours later.  Mariko wakes up and sees TJ and Hank Pym (with a beard!).  As they are catching her up, Mary Jane, who is Spider-Woman, jumps into the room.  MJ and Mariko had quite the relationship in those few issues.  They were not ever expecting to see each other, ever again.

9 Days later.  Beast is explaining to TJ that she and Mariko are still emitting their unique signature, that makes them Exiles.  Beast theorizes that the two of them could teleport away, at any time.

There is a half page ad for Smallville Season One, which was pretty decent.  It got much better around seasons three and four.  The other half is promoting David Mack’s Ruule, that I’ve never heard of.  I couldn’t get into his Kabuki but I dug his Daredevil stints.

There is a nice scene of Mary Jane and Mariko, discussing when they knew they were lesbians.  MJ was always gay, she believes, she had a huge crush on her first grade teacher, and never outgrew those feelings for ladies.  Mariko was thirteen, she fell in love with her best friend, but she didn’t return her love.  Friendship over.

12 Days Later.  TJ and Mariko have joined the team – as if they are never leaving.  The team is Thor, a green Juggernaut, Luke Cage as Iron Fist (we’ll see more of him in Exiles Then and Now), Rhino, Longshot and Iceman.

2 Days Later.  TJ confronts Mariko about how close she is getting to MJ.  She reminds Mariko about how, at one point, they will leap out of here.  Which I completely get that Mariko knows that and is wanting to enjoy every minute of this, that she can.  MJ overhears this, and starts to get sad.

4 Days Later.  MJ and Mariko are in a movie theater, an empty theater.  Mariko is trying to enjoy it but MJ is trying to get real.  Both of them are going to be hurt, but Mariko doesn’t want to think about that one future day.  When Mariko says that this is the happiest she has ever been, she means that.  Her own timeline was a horrible place.

13 Days.  $ Hours and 33 minutes later.  MJ is not happy with a returning Captain America, who is super bossy.  They are in the bathroom.  MJ is about to shower and Mariko is coming her own hair.  While listening to MJ, Marko disappears.  MJ, once the bath has filled, comes out and sees the dropped brushed.

Issue ends with Beast confirming that they leaped or slid.  Mary Jane and Mariko had 41 days together, maybe 42 days.

Pretty great quiet issue!

Exiles 31

Posted by John Klein III on May 17, 2015
Posted in: Review, Websites. Tagged: , , , , . 1 Comment

Exiles 31

Writer Judd Winick

Pencils Jim Calafiore

Inks Mark McKenna

Colors Transparency Digital

Letters Dave Sharpe

Cover Dated October 2003

Avengers Forever Part One of Two

Took us a year but we finally got around to reviewing part one of this story!

The Exiles team is – Mimic, Nocturne, Morph, Sunfire, Sasquatch and the awesome Magik.

The issue opens with some guards investigating a break-in.

There is an ad for Grind, a film I sort of want to watch.  We can add Mike Vogel to the cast of stars of the film – along with Jennifer Morrison and Adam Brody.

The intruders are, unfortunately, The Avengers – Captain America, Giant Man, Falcon, Wasp, Polaris and Hawkeye.  Polaris is the odd member as twelve years later, she still isn’t an Avenger and I doubt she ever will.  Though I doubted Havok would be an Avenger and that turned out relatively okay.,

The Avengers make short work of the SHIELD agents.  The poor agents try to use holy items but Captain America just laughs at this feeble attempt.  The entire team are vampires!  Vampengers! if you will.

Exiles 31 Magik 1

The Mission District of San Francisco.  Teep’s Coffee, Internet Cafe.  1:28aam.  The Exiles team is consulting with their Tallus, their version of Ziggy from Quantum Leap.  They know about the Vampengers.  Nocturne can’t believe Captain America is a vampire.  What’s next, Reed Richards . . . King of Latveria?  Daredevil the Kingpin of Crime?  Both stories actually took place in the Proper Marvel Universe.  Morph found all of this information on the Internet.  So it is common knowledge.

Mimic recognizes where this universe must be split from.  The classic tale of Captain America fighting Baron Blood.  That story ends with Cap beheading the Baron with his mighty shield.

Then there is this awkward ad –

Daredevil DVD Ad Stare All You Want

I’m sure Jennifer Garner loved this advertisement.  I would recommend the Daredevil : Director’s Cut, it is so good.  Basically instead of Jennifer Garner / Elektra scenes, we got story and content instead.  Who would have thought that was what the released film was missing!?!

Heather, for the benefit of new readers, asks what that story is all about.  Instead of the beheading, Baron Blood bit Captain America, turning him into a vampire.  Cap later killed the Baron and became the King of All Vampires, so the basic anit-vampire artifacts don’t have any affect on him.

Exiles 31 Magik 2

Blink is no longer with the team, so it is up to Mimic to figure out how to use the Tallus and learn their goal.  He just knows that they have to stop Captain America from enslaving the entire city.

Then we get how great this version of Magik is.  Her solution to stopping Cap is to just kill him.  It is the quickly and sure firest way to ensure their goal.  Mimic has too much respect to just kill Captain America.  Plus, this gives him a chance to confront Magik with all of her decisions up to this point.  Magik, to save the day or to send them to their next Earth, almost killed a Moira MacTaggert, crippled Black Panther’s son and may have killed Morlock children.  Mimic tells her to stop being so quick and vicious in her methods.  One does not merely order Magik what to do.

Exiles 31 Magik 3

Magik decides to get up close with him and asks what he will do to her if she doesn’t, maybe a spanking?  This doesn’t amuse Mimic, at all.  Mimic, being too bothered, has to leave the room.

Exiles 31 Magik 4

Sunfire looks annoyed.  Magik walks over to her and asks if she ever gets lonely.  Sunfire responds that she isn’t lonely now but maybe later.  Which I like this flirtation, it doesn’t go anywhere, from what I remember.

Morph has located the now retired Union Jack, and Mimic wants him to get a phone number for the British hero.  They call the former Union Jack, at his Falsworth Estate, he informs them about how there are only six locations in San Francisco that Captain America could cast that wide of a spell.  The page ends with us being able to see the damage to Union Jack’s face, which is all scarred from a burn wound, like Mel Gibson in The Man Without a Face – which I was all about Mel Gibson playing Two-Face during the early 90s just based off of that film.  They went with Tommy Lee Jones instead, two years later.

The Exiles have two bags full of holy relics, they are as ready as they ever will be.  They are either going to steal the enchanted item or kill Captain America – Magik wanted to do both but that got vetoed.

The Vampengers are building an alter, it has to be made out of wood, which upsets Polaris.  While she is belly aching over that, she gets a wood stake through the heart.  Magik just killed Polaris, which irritates Mimic.  She is already killing suckers.  Blood suckers.

Sasquatch fights Falcon.  Morph fights Wasp.  It makes sense the two leaders fight, so we get Mimic v Cap.  On this world, Mimic is a mercenary.  Giant Man fights Sunfire.  We are reminded that one should never fight someone with fire powers as she burns him.  Typically, there is no coming back from that.  That will leave a scar.  Hawkeye successfully shoots an arrow into Sunfire’s arm, another thing that will leave a scar!

Exiles 31 Magik 5

This all happens while Giant Man, Sunfire and Hawkeye were trading quips in the fight.  Which is something that has always confused Magik, why waste the time to banter.  While she is complaining, Hawkeye is able to flip her upside down and throws her against the ground.

Sasquatch levels the playing field by taking both Falcon and Giant Man through the roof and onto the top floor.

Mimic and Captain America, who I wish I could come up with a clever name.  King America, Captain Vampire, King Vamperira.

Hawkeye bites Sunfire.

Captain America brags to Mimic about how not all heroes are vampires but most know to leave him alone.  Mimic is tired of all of this chit chat and he uses his bone claws to separate Captain America’s head from his shoulders.  The threat is done.

Issue ends with Cap’s body standing up, retrieving his head and putting it back where it ends.

Exiles 31 Magik 6

Cap wants to know if Mimic wants to try again.  Which is a pretty boss move.

Part Two can be found here :

Exiles 32

I do like how Mimic of Exiles – instead of having the Original Five X-Men’s powers, has the powers of Wolverine and Colossus.  Those are his two main powers that he features.  This issue he also has Cyclops’ optic blasts.  Really, all one needs is those three powers.  Got the range attack, got the claws for close combat quarters and the armor for protection.  No wonder that guy is the leader.

This website has a pretty nice review and some individual panels if you want to get a taste of the comic itself.

http://secretearths.blogspot.com/2008/10/exiles-versus-avengers-avengers-forever.html

Exiles 32

Posted by John Klein III on January 3, 2014
Posted in: Review. Tagged: , , , , . 1 Comment

22373_20060102141237_large

Writer Judd Winick

Pencils Jim Calafiore

Inks Mark McKenna

Colors Transparency Digital

Letters Dave Sharpe

Avengers Forever Part Two of Two

Cover Dated October 2003

The Exiles team find themselves on an Earth where Captain America is the King Vampire, and his fellow Avengers : Wasp, Falcon and Hawkeye are also vampires.

This issue opens with Captain America reattaching his severed head back onto his neck.  This, naturally, freaks Mimic.  Luckily, Sasquatch bashes through the floor to throw off the dead captain.  Wasp convinces Cap to retreat.

There is an ad for the movie, Grind.  Whenever I read a back issue, and see an ad for a movie, I like to see if anyone escaped that film.  Adam Brody, I knew was in it.  Who I didn’t know was that Jennifer Morrison was in it.  I first saw her on How I Met Your Mother, and now on Once Upon A Time.  Might have to try to see this movie.  I am a sucker for any film that follows a set of four male friends.

Magik checks on Mimic.  I do enjoy this version of her, has a very dry sense of humor.  She also tells it like it is.

Hawkeye bit Sunfire, who I wished the Proper Marvel Universe’s Mariko was as fun as this version.  So she is slowly becoming a vampire, but since it was one of Cap’s vampires, the process is going to be much faster.

Another nice thing about this series is Morph, who is actually funny.  Which is not typical of that type of character in a comic.

Mimic wants Magik to teleport the team to England, so that Union Jack can assist them with Sunfire.  Magik doesn’t want to, as it will exhaust her.  She gets convinced to do it.  Calafoire really read the script, as the panel of the team coming through the stepping disc, you can see that Magik is exhausted.  Great job!

Union Jack has a solution, just kill her now and spare her the pain.  The team objects to this and he tells them the only other solution is to kill the vampire king.  He tells them that the only item that can do this, is the Soul Sword of Bata’s Circle.  Which of course, is exactly what Magik’s sword is.

We cut to San Francisco, where Captain America is having to recite a novel length monologue. If he is successful, he will be able to rule the world.  Due to it being so long, he doesn’t get to finish by the time Nocturne snatches his magical box.

There is a one page ad for JLAvengers, such a great miniseries.

Union Jack enters a multipage fight with Captain America.  Magik then straight up runs Cap through with her soulsword.  Once she does, she questions why Union Jack didn’t just let her do that from the beginning.

Turns out, now that Captain America is dead, this means Union Jack is now the new Vampire King, which was his plan.  He is about to attack Magik when Sunfire is cured and saves Magik.

The Tallus tells the Exiles team that their mission was a success.  Before they can go, Union Jack messes up the process and the team gets separated.

Issue ends on a funny note.  We only see where Morph and Sasquatch end up.  In Northern Canada.  The problem is that they run across a recently escaped Wolverine from the Weapon X program.  He is only growling and naked.