I keep having this thought about Lost.  One of the greatest shows of all time.

It starts with a pretty crazy premise so hang in there.

Let’s say you are teleported into the jungle of Hawaii, which of course, you recognize super easily and instantaneously.

Once you start walking through the trees, you come out onto a beach.

Then you see who you believe is Matthew Fox, and you say “Hey Matthew Fox!”

To your right, Naveen Andrews is charging at you, and you only have a moment before you realize that he is midair about to kick yo face!

So by now, your brain should at least be telling you that you are fighting Sayid and not Naveen.

Somehow you are able to fight him off and knock him out.

Before you get shot by Sawyer, you start regaining your footing and say something like, “Dr. Jack Sheppard, call off your men!”

Which should shock everyone to stillness.

Now, pending on which episode you have stepped into, this could be a lot of fun.

When I think about it, it is usually around the time of season one when Ben Linus has first been “captured” and he is going by Henry Gale.

Okay, the premise is this, what do you do once you are able to communicate with the characters.

Knowing that you have stepped into the show itself.  Which means, that everything has happened already up to that point.

Even though you are standing within Season Two, Episode 14, One of Them, Ben’s first episode, for the characters, all of their flashbacks have happen to them, the crazy things that happen in the 1970s has happened.  Everything that the creators of Lost has told and shown you that took place prior to the Pilot, has occurred.

Plus, you are a superfan, meaning that you devoured every piece of information Lostpedia has to offer.

Okay, the premise takes a lot of set up and if I were talking to you, it would take like one minute to say all of that above.

What do you do?

First, you have Jack take you to “Henry” and you straight up tell Ben that you know he is Ben and you know all about Hydra Island.  You know about the lovely Juliet.

My goal would be to pretend to be Jacob.  That’s the buzz word I would use to get Ben to instantly trust me.

Also, I would steer clear of Richard and he has met Jacob and that will ruin everything.

The entire time, I will be working under the impression that I will eventually be teleported back off the island so I just have to survive up to that point.

I will be taking people to the Lighthouse, and other various locations, like the Foot Statue, just having a good ol’ time.

I will probably be better friends to Locke than Jack as Jack wouldn’t care about the Island at all but just wanting to get home.

Which I will tell them about the submarine and give my blessing that everyone may leave if they want to.

I will tell Ben, if he doesn’t believe that I am Jacob, about how he gassed the Dharma Initiative, sparing his father.

I will tell Jack and Claire how they are related.

I will tell Sawyer about how Locke’s father killed his parents.

My goal is that I have to proof that I am who I say I am with all of the information I have at my disposal.  So once Ben tells the gang who Jacob is, then the rest falls into place.

You run the risk of everyone punching you in the face though but how could you not be tempted to want to tell people about their connections.

Hopefully I have that awesome “Unanswered Questions” video within a short period before this little adventure began, as I am sure they will ask me questions that I have no idea the answer too.

Thanks to YouTuber Irvin Bursiaga and College Humor for making it.

I suppose I have to stay clear of the Smoke Monster too, as he won’t be happy to know I am impersonating his brother.

Also, I have no idea how to stop the Smoke Monster, hiding in trees doesn’t work every time.

Of course, your presence on the Island, changes the everything about the show but once I am on the Island, I will want to get home and kiss my wife, as she is my Constant, and I am under the impression that is how you get back to where you need to be.

It will be 2004 by then, or 2005, so it is a matter of just knowing where she was during that time, and luckily, that is the year I met her (2004) so I know exactly where she is.  Of course, I will be almost 10 years older and be that funny guy she sees at work, so it will take some convincing to get her to kiss me.

That’s a whole another problem, if I even get back to the states!

Luckily Lost has been airing for a little bit, but without Desmond and Penny and the actual “Constant” episode airing, it will be tough to explain the rules of course-correcting via kissing.  But ever since that episode has aired, I like to think that is how you get back home, no matter what era you are in.  As long as you are in the era where your spouse is currently alive, you can get back home.  The problem, of course, is that there will be times where she will be eight and you will be in your 40s and there is no country that will buy the Constant excuse, especially if it doesn’t work and you are the pervert on the playground.  That’s why I will only travel through time where my wife is of age.  Or have a more reliable mode of transportation to travel through time in, like a TRADIS.

I guess this whole premise is based on the idea, like Quantum Leap, where you are just in a spot for a temporary moment and it is up to you to get yourself out of it.

Boy, Lost is an amazing show!  I am a huge fan of the Desmond / Penny relationship and whenever Elizabeth Mitchell is on screen, is a good time.

OH!  Will have to definitely enjoy telling Ben about Charles Whitmore and all the information I know about the two of them.

Maybe instead of pretending to be Jacob, I could pretend to be an associate of Whitmore’s, and have decided to strike out on my own.  That way, I am not expected to know all the answers, and the Lost crew can trust me as Ben will not trust me at first, thus they probably will.  Enemies of enemies, and all that.

Least favorite character?  Sun, for sure.

Also, how disappointing was Jacob?  That one episode where you see his eye through the cabin key hole?  That was legit spooky.  Then they went and had Jacob leaving the Island and being witness to the crew’s worst moments, that was a bit too much.

Also, season six, ooof, I wish that was way better.  Maybe too much Smoke Monster, Jacob and Richard origins, I feel like that could have been one or two episodes.  I liked the sideways timeline.  Daniel really came off well.  I became a huge fan of James Ford with season five.  I swear, you pair Juliet with a male, and that guy becomes instantly likeable and watchable.  Then Kate shows up and tries to ruin everything, like Kate does, but luckily, James knew when to quit spending time with that crazy gal!  Also, why Jack couldn’t stick with her either for the long haul, why would you care to?

I actually thought production would have made a slew of books on the series and I am surprised they still haven’t.  Maybe they are waiting for the tenth anniversary next year or something like that.  Or they know that Lostpedia is already the best source and all they can do is print all the pages the website has and make it into a book.  Which I have been tempted to do that in the past.

Watching Once Upon a Time in Wonderland has reminded me how much I love Sayid.  If only we could get Sayid v. Jack Bauer.

If this was the 80s, there would have been an entire movie based around Naveen Andrews fighting Keither Sutherland.

It would have been done like a classic WWE match where one week, one of them wins and the next week, the other wins, but both times, they were technical wins leading up to the big PPV match.